those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
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he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.