You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand