I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
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It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
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After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.