i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
40s are totally the cure
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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