There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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