I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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