At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
