the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
