She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Congratulations! We have a period
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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