No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
