Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
