How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
