Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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