OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
