How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
