I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
