can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
