It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
