so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize