belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I did not marry a roomba.
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