Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
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Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
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We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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