I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
