Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
