How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
