we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.