I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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