i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk