My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.