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• (718): View more from New York

  If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  May it rest in peace.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.

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• (631): View more from New York

  This beer is not sobering me up at all

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?

  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions

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• (585): View more from New York

  Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?

  (1-585): View more from New York

  Or possibly end in a restraining order?

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos

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• (980): View more from North Carolina

  I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.

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