was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
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Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
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Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.