Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
