sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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