he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
