a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
