i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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