Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize