Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
