wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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