I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
