Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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