So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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