Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
