I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
