He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
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There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
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I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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