My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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