I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The best revenge is premature balding
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
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you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
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I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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