so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I love having hate sex.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
