please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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