Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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