He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
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I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Rumble strips road head = magical
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
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he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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