I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Life is so much better after having sex.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
