Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Congratulations! We have a period
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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