as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
