This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
