She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.