Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.