She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...