sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
