and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
