It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
