just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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