i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
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I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
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I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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