Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize