you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
